Irreverent Read online

  I shrug and run my fingers over the swelling on his jaw and his face tightens. I frown at him, my eyes taking in all the damage. I answer his question with one of my own. “Why did you fight Jackson?”

  He frowns, and I can almost feel him drawing him away from me when he sighs. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

  His face is etched with pain, but I don’t know if it’s from his injuries or something I can’t see. Whatever is going on, he’s hurting. I want to help him. I want to make him feel better. I can’t think of any way I can do that.

  My lips brush against his and the frown melts away. His lips twitch into a smile when he pulls me closer so we fit together. My arm curls around his side. He holds me so tight I feel his heart beating against my breast.

  His hands start to travel the length of me. His fingers slide under my shirt and goose bumps explode on my skin. I shift my fingers to match his touch and run my fingers under his shirt. All the enjoyment of the pleasure I feel in touching him is sucked away as I feel the rough skin patches hidden by his tattoo.

  I pull back so I can look in his eyes. My breathing is coming in too fast, my heart thudding hard in my inflamed body. My lips part to ask him the same question he refused to answer before, but I’m terrified to. I’m terrified I’ll see him lose control again. That I’ll be the one he turns on and attacks the way he did Jackson.

  He kisses me again but I’m too conflicted to respond. With a shallow smile and tension growing on his battered face, he seems to acknowledge the moment has passed. I pull back out of his grip and try to dim the feelings that his closeness causes. I’m almost glad when my stomach grumbles noisily. I can use it as an excuse to get away from him.

  I want to help him but being this close lights me on fire in a way I can’t escape. I’m not sure if that is a good thing. I have no experience with boys so I don’t know if the way I feel about him is normal or not. I hope it isn’t. I hope that this is something special. I bite down on my lip and sit up, trying to be honest even though heat is tracking over my cheeks. “You scared me.”

  He looks so wounded, I almost take it back in case it stirs his anger again, but he only sighs and pulls himself up with a wince. “I’m sorry. I must have looked like a nut job.”

  I swallow and try to keep my voice light. “I don’t know what that is.”

  His smile is weak. He runs a hand over his face and lets out a growl. “Well, now you do. I should go find Jackson. I want to see how things work around here. We need to eat, and I need a shower.” His eyes flitter around the room and he slides off the bed. He stretches his arms over his head and yawns. “Let me go see if they’ve found us clothes.” He looks down at my feet and scratches his chin. “Why don’t you stay here? No point in getting up if you don’t need to.” A jolt rocks my stomach at being alone. I was so tired I barely took notice of the route we took to get here. I must look worried because he hurries to reassure me. “I’ll be back in five minutes. If I’m any longer, just head back past all the clinic signs ‘til you find a door at the end of the hallway. Okay?”

  My empty stomach knots but I chase away my anxiety by picking at the skin around my nails. With a half-smile half-frown, he turns. The door opens automatically just like in the Unit and in the new city which makes my forehead wrinkle. I have nothing to do but wait for his return so I flop back on the bed and try not to think about all the things that could happen to him. Or to me.

  * * *

  Cristan.

  My legs carry me back the way I came. My feet slap against the tiles underneath and a shiver runs down my spine. I need a shower. I need to find some boots, but my top priority is sorting out whether my inclination to distrust is warranted. My choices are limited. I can stay or I can steal Drew’s 4WD back and take my chances.

  In this building we have a room, be it all but a storage room, and by the looks of the clinic I’m strolling past, access to medical supplies and probably a regular source of food. Out there, we have zero resources, so it’s a no brainer even though I don’t really like the situation we’re in.

  I can hear murmuring coming from up ahead so I make sure I’m quiet as I press an ear to the door. My heart jumps into my throat as the door opens and Trey’s grinning face appears. I stumble back and frown at him. I push past and find Jackson and Kit sitting at the table.

  Kit doesn’t take her eyes off the weapon she’s taking apart to clean. Jackson, however, is eyeing me. “Hungry?”

  My stomach is raw with hunger but I don’t think Mallory will appreciate me stopping to eat before getting back to her. I ignore his question and take the same comfy seat I vacated a few hours ago. “So, what’s your deal? You left your Units so you could be some kind of rebels in no man’s land? Why?”

  Jackson raises an eyebrow. I’m beginning to think it’s his signature mood, or maybe he thinks it makes him look tougher. Either way, I’m sick of it. Mainly because I’m sore and hungry, and my skin is itchy.

  He chuckles. “Yeah. That’s it. In a nutshell.”

  Kit slams a piece of her gun into place and looks over at Trey. “You get those clothes?”

  I hadn’t noticed him slip in behind me, but his posture is relaxed as he takes a swig from a brown bottle. “Yes, woman. I did.”

  Kit scowls at him. “I am not, and I will never be, your woman.” Trey doesn’t seem concerned by her rebuff, just looks at her and rolls his eyes as Kit puts her gun back in her holster and pushes back from the table. She looks me up and down as she walks past me and grimaces. “Have some food, then for feck’s sake go take a shower. I’ll bring your girl some food and give her the down low on how things work around here.”

  I tug my shirt closer and scrunch my nose up at how bad I smell. Jackson points to the casserole still simmering on the stove. “Go on. We’ll talk while you eat. Trey? Clear off.”

  Rather than being offended, Trey downs the rest of his drink and stalks across the room to the door we came in. “I’m going to set up, going to be a good night to see the lights.”

  I’m staring after him, wondering what lights he means when Kit takes the lid off the food and dishes up a bowl. She balances it on one hand and heads out of the room. I figure I may as well do what she suggested. Of the three people we’ve met out here, Kit is the person I’m least worried about around Mallory.

  My stomach grumbles so I peel myself off the chair and grab a bowl and spoon from a dish rack beside the pot. I look over my shoulder as I dish myself a helping. “You said you had a way to contact my Unit?” It’s hard to keep the hope from my voice. This is the longest I’ve been away from Jed since we’ve been out here. Guilt ripples through me as I think of what Drew and Jackie must be telling him to explain my absence.

  Jackson pulls him up and yawns. “We do have a way to contact them. It can wait.”

  My jaw clenches. He’s stalling and I don’t know the reason. I take a seat again and cradle my bowl in my hands. The smell is making my stomach growl even more and I’m nearly drooling with how good it smells, but I can’t eat until I have some understanding of what Jackson is all about.

  So far I know sod about him, other than he likes theatrics, drama, and thinks he knows a lot about me. Which makes me ask another question. “What tech do you have in here?”

  He shrugs and takes a bottle off a shelf above his head. “You can see our control room later. For now, you just need to know that we’re no better and no worse off tech wise than you’re used to.”

  It’s such a vague answer that if I wasn’t so bloody hungry I’d chuck the bowl at him. I hold onto my annoyance and start to eat the food. I don’t bother to taste it properly, I’m still too hesitant to leave Mallory alone for too long. Even if she’s relatively safe with Kit, she’ll still worry if I take too long.

  Jackson isn’t telling me anything helpful and I get the feeling he thinks he has reasons to keep me in the dark. I decide to play along and make him think I’m okay with the status quo, but first chance I get, I’m going to fi
nd the control room he’s talking about and I will get a message to my brother.

  Whether Jackson wants me to or not.

  Chapter 4

  Mallory.

  I’m about to go and find Cristan when the door opens and Kit steps inside. She’s carrying a bowl of delicious smelling food. I sit up instantly and hope my voice isn’t too eager. “Is that for me?”

  She hands me the metal bowl and drops a pile of clothing by my feet. “Your boy is with Jackson. He won’t be long.” She settles in at my feet and raises her eyebrows. “It’s been a while since we had a girl out here. Kind of nice to offset the testosterone.” I’m too busy eating my food to pay her much attention. My stomach is growling a rousing chorus as I shovel the food down far too rapidly to be polite. She chuckles and leans back so she’s supported by her elbows. She sighs and looks sidelong at me as I eat. “What happened when we left you?” I swallow and feel my stomach twisting. I’m not sure how much to tell her about Cristan’s behaviour. She’s already seen him angry, and I’m not sure if mentioning it will help. She seems to notice my reluctance so she narrows her eyes. “He didn’t hurt you did he?”

  My eyes widen and I shake my head. “No. He just got angry when I asked him…” I stop myself. I don’t want to betray Cristan. I don’t like talking about him when he’s not here, but Kit is staring at me with an intensity that makes me squirm.

  My cheeks heat as I pretend not to notice, but Kit doesn’t look like she’s going to stop asking questions. She huffs a breath. “Something about the G? Something about why he’s out here when technically he shouldn’t be?”

  I’m so surprised she knows that, I start nodding before my hand clamps over my mouth. I’m so annoyed with myself that I put the remainder of the food on the bed. My hand comes away from my mouth. “How did you know that?”

  She doesn’t answer for a few seconds. My heart starts to beat a fraction faster and I lean closer when I think she’s about to give me an answer. An answer Cristan refused to. She glances at the door before answering in a low voice as though concerned someone will overhear. “Let’s just say he’s got reason to be angry. And an even better reason to be secretive. He’s probably trying to protect you.”

  My brow knits together in confusion. “How did you know so much about Cristan?”

  Kit clears her throat and sits up with a groan. She rubs at her side and winces. “Stupid automated guns. One got me. Thank feck they are only rubber bullets.”

  My frown only grows at the abrupt subject change. “Automated guns?”

  She grins. “It’s Jackson’s way of testing anyone who makes it to the Zoo. You went to your happy place which is totally in keeping with Irrelevant behaviour, but your boy did the opposite.” She doesn’t elaborate but I don’t need her to say what happened. I didn’t see him attack Jackson. I don’t need her to tell me what he did. I’ve seen the evidence on his battered face. I don’t want to talk about him anymore with a stranger so I tell her so. She doesn’t seem offended but pulls herself off the bed. “If you need anything else let Trey or me know. We’re in requisitions.” Kit chuckles like she’s made a joke but it’s yet another thing I don’t and can’t understand, so my smile is forced. She jerks her head at the door. “Speak of the devil.”

  As though summoned by us speaking of him, Cristan appears. His hair is wet and he’s dressed in new clothes and is wearing a pair of shiny black lace-up boots.

  Kit doesn’t acknowledge him, but waves goodbye to me with a smile. “I’ll get you two when we’re heading up to the roof. You won’t want to miss the light show.” I look to Cristan for an answer but he looks as bewildered as I feel. Kit points to the clothing on the bed. “Looks like your boy can show you where the shower is.” She looks at my feet and frowns. “Maybe rest for a bit first.”

  The door opens and shuts, leaving me with Cristan. His smile is hesitant but he sits at the end of the bed just like Kit did and looks at the half-empty bowl I’ve abandoned. “You’ve eaten?” I nod and wonder if my body will ever stop reacting to him. Part of me likes it, but another part of me wishes I could control those emotions better. I swallow and distract myself from the way he’s gently running a finger over the top of the foot closest to him. He’s frowning down at my feet and his voice is as soft as his touch. “You need to tell me if you’re hurting.” His eyes meet mine and a flickering of emotion swells amid the caramel. “What did you talk to Kit about?” At my silence, his fingers stop caressing my skin and a wary look crosses his face. “Me?”

  I don’t want to lie, so I slowly nod my head. “She wanted to know what happened when we were in her hut.”

  His jaw works, then he releases a sigh and runs a hand over his damp hair. “I don’t trust them. They know things that they shouldn’t.” I tense in preparation for his mood to switch but he doesn’t appear irritated when he holds my gaze. “Later when it’s dark, I’m going to take a look around.”

  I start to protest out of habit, but something stops me. Whether it’s him, or the idea of finding out more about him and these curious people, I don’t know. I only know that the idea of exploring alone with him in the dark when we aren’t supposed to sounds incredibly appealing.

  Pressure starts to build inside my chest. “I’ll come with you,” I say.

  * * *

  Cristan

  From where she’s sitting cross-legged on the bed, Mallory keeps sending me not so furtive looks as we try to pass the time. There’s a deck of cards I found in a set of metal drawers. I shuffle them and halve the deck. I’m not really interested in playing anything, but we need to pass the time somehow so I pass her half and grin. “Ever play any card games?”

  She gives me a quizzical look and shakes her head. I mutter to myself. Of course, she hasn’t. Am I that distracted I’m forgetting where she came from? I shake it off and peel a card from the top of the deck and place it down. She leans forward and peers at it as though the queen of hearts is the most astonishing thing she’s seen. “What is that on her head?” She points to the crown and I try to remember when Gallathia made its history of monarchy Irrelevant.

  I frown as I try to remember the dates, but it’s not exactly a topic I’m interested in. Monarchy, royalty, everything about that idea makes me want to vomit. I can feel my anger start to surface so I check it quickly in case Mallory sees it. “It’s a crown. Back in the day, people born into certain families were given rulership over some countries. They got special privileges, lived in a fancy house, had servants that sort of crap.”

  She’s silent as she stares at the card. Her voice wobbles as she looks up at me with teary eyes. “You mean they were Relevant?”

  My eyebrows raise at her perception. It’s precisely what the Relevance system is all about. Isolating the elite, the chosen ones, someone else’s idea of good and worthy. So much for eliminating the Irrelevant. What use were bloated, spoilt rich turds who did nothing for society’s productivity?

  It’s an effort to keep my voice from showing my anger. “I guess they were.”

  In a flash, her emotion disappears and she gives me a weak smile. “I’d like to have a shower.”

  I swallow hard, heat touches my cheeks at the idea. I nod and try to pretend I’m not thinking half the things I shouldn’t be. “There’s no lock on the door. I can stand guard outside.”

  Her eyebrows rise and fall, but she nods and eases herself off the bed. Her eyes flick to the cards and her forehead creases. Her hand goes to her mouth like she’s done something wrong. “Oh. You wanted to play a game?”

  I shake my head and reach for the clothes Kit left for her. She’s staring at me when I stand upright again. Or at least she’s staring at my arms. I follow her gaze and can’t help but enjoy the way she’s watching the tattoos on my skin. The enjoyment lasts about as long as the realisation that she’s one of the few people who know the dragon on my back is there for a reason.

  I gesture to the door. “We can play cards later.” Her eyes snap to my face. I think I
see a flickering of doubt, and after the behaviour I’ve shown it’s no wonder really. I try for a smile, but like everything about me, it comes out lame. She steps through the door without a flinch, though her feet must be bothering her still. I touch her arm lightly as we walk down the corridor. “Try not to get the medi-plasters too wet.”

  She stares down at her feet and nods as though speaking to them. “They’ll be fine.”

  I’m still carrying her clothes when we reach one of the old vet clinic doors. I point through the Perspex to where the shower is located. “Through that last door. I’ll be right out here.”

  I hand her the clothes and she grips them closer to her chest, eyes darting about as she looks down the corridor. I think she’s nervous but her question is more from curiosity. “What did they mean by light show?”

  I shrug. Mainly because I don’t know. I’ve been wondering myself, but it’s not really top priority. Getting a message out to Jed and to Drew is. “Guess we’ll find out,” I say.

  She frowns at me like she’s annoyed at my lack of curiosity. Then she turns and walks away from me. I watch her through the Perspex until I see her open the door to the shower. At my cue to avert my eyes, I turn around and take a seat on the floor outside. I smile to myself as I hear the water start to run. And try to think of what I’m going to say to my brother when I get to speak to him.

  I lean my head back against the wall and relax my weary body. A couple hours of snatched sleep haven’t made up for the fatigue my body is feeling, but there is no way I’m dozing while she’s at her most vulnerable. This isn’t like her being back at the Unit. There could be worse lying in wait than Tyler, or some of the others who’d use any opportunity to steal a look at a pretty girl.

  My jaw starts to work as I remember that Tyler ditched her and I don’t need to force myself to stay awake anymore. Instead, I start formulating what I’m going to do to Tyler when I see him next. Whatever I choose, it ends up with him on the floor and bleeding. Gina is a whole other story. I’ll have to think of something entirely different to deal with her. I don’t hit girls. Never have. Never will. I may be an out of control nut job who loses the plot on a regular basis, but attacking someone weaker, someone that needs protecting, that’s not something even I’d stoop to.